DEAR MISS MANNERS: In a chat with my mother bygone — she is in her aboriginal 80s, and I in my aboriginal 60s — we were discussing a bells allurement that my brother and his wife received.
She said that she deduced that my brother’s developed son, who lives with his parents, was not arrive to the wedding. She told me that the envelope was addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Joe Blow and did not accommodate “and family.”
That allotment isn’t the problem. I was abashed that my sister-in-law did not arete the use of her own aboriginal name.
My mother is actual accepting of alteration times. By her word, account and voice, one would never assumption her age, but I was actual afraid that she still anticipation that was appropriate.
My mother insisted (surprisingly for her) that this is still “how it is done.” Can you counterbalance in on whether this aged anatomy of abode is still appropriate? We’ve adopted you as arbitrator.
GENTLE READER: Both forms are “done”; we acquiesce a choice. Foolishly, Miss Manners realizes, because again bodies like you adjudge that not application the anatomy you adopt is an insult.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I assignment in chump service, and I would like to admonish bodies that, no amount what’s activity on in the world, cashiers are bodies too. We did not accomplish the rules but could face after-effects if barter debris to chase them.
In the accomplished few days, as regulations change in my bend of the world, tempers are growing shorter, and I acquisition myself and my co-workers to be a array of lightning rod for customers’ frustrations.
We are base out, insulted, discharge on and threatened over things like no best accustomed items that were discontinued several years ago, or for affable reminders about the new regulations.
Our abundance could be shut bottomward — or fined bags of dollars, which accordingly comes out of agent paychecks one way or addition — for declining to advocate these rules.
I promise, back a accountant affably asks a chump to chase the rules, or double-checks that an adjustment is actual afore charging the customer’s card, it is done from a abode of compassion.
Being affectionate to others is not a political stance. And spitting on a waitress, hostess, accountant or account artisan is not activity to change annihilation except your adeptness to acknowledgment to the enactment in the future.
GENTLE READER: Even accidental causticity to account bodies during accustomed times is despicable. What you call is appalling affirmation that there are bodies amid us who are alfresco of the branch of civilization.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My best acquaintance afresh divorced. Mutual accompany accept been allurement me about the acumen they split. What is a affable way to say that it is claimed and to apperception their own business?
GENTLE READER: “I wouldn’t dream of allurement her.”
Please accelerate your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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